Road Trippin'
by LinkSomeDrink
Summary: The Titans take a wild road trip across America; fleeing the police, meeting some crazy characters and generally gettin' into good old trouble! No pairings yet. R


Looking back, after having written this, I really don't know what else to say other is a hell of a drug.

**Chapter 1: Cruisin' and Bruisin' **

Cyborg was cruising through Jump City in his pimped out T-Car. He had won a contest and had his car officially 'pimped' by Xzibit.

"Damn, this is pimped!" Cyborg said enthusiastically, I mean it's pretty much the same car, but he put a few thousand flat screen TVs in here! And a flamethrower!"

He slowed to stop so a group of children could gawk at his vehicle. He leaned out the window, grinning widely.

"Whatcha kids think? I know you were starin' at my car," Cy boasted.

"We were staring at you, man," one of the boys spoke up.

"Why? 'Cause I'm a Titan?"

"No. Because we're a few of the hundreds of illegitimate children you spawned all through out the town."

"OH SNAP!" That's when Cyborg realized he had unwittingly parked in front of the town orphanage. He slammed the pedal to the floor and sped away in his car.

"YOU STILL OWE ME SOME BIRTHDAY PRESENTS, YOU PRICK!" one of the boys yelled at Cyborg's fleeing car.

"Whew, that was close. Fuck child support. And Mr. Roger's. It certainly is NOT a wonderful day in the neighborhood, Mr. I-Got-A-Sweater-Vest."

He continued to speed on the roads when he noticed a white car with a large red M on the front keeping pace with him. Cyborg sped up a little, and the white car quickly reacted in speeding up with him. Cyborg looked at the driver, spotting a guy with a white helmet and a red scarf sitting intensely behind the driver's seat. He glared right back at Cyborg.

"Looks like this is a street race. Well, bring it bitch! I've filled my gas tank with NUCLEUR POWER!"

The two cars flew through the town, obliterating street-side fruit stands, small town monuments and a group of choir boys.

MEANWHILE…

Beast Boy and Terra's frozen statue having a picnic on a hill on the outskirts of Jump City, pleasantly being warmed under the bright summer sun. It was a quite lunch, far away from the busy streets of the city.

"So, long time no talk, huh? I know we didn't leave on the best terms, but I still we could have something between us…" Beast Boy said eagerly.

"…"

"Maybe a relationship?"

"…"

"One night stand?"

"…"

"Fine! Be a cold bitch! No wonder you got kicked off of America's Top Model!"

FLASHBACK

"Sorry Terra, but you just don't have what it takes…" said the Hostess.

"…"

"…Plus you're made of stone."

END OF FLASHBACK

Suddenly, Cyborg's car blew through the pleasant picnic, sending food and rocks everywhere. Beast Boy turned into a fly at the exact precise moment and flew into the car through the air vents. (fuck it, that doesn't make sense but that's the best I can do)

"Dude, what the jolly fuck?! I was getting my thang on wit da ladies!

"Street race!"

"Oh, ok."

Two cops watched the cars as the raced through the park.

"Jonathon! I propose that those nefarious characters have commenced in Ridin' dirty!"

"Indeed! Let us back up on that shit, post haste!"

They pedaled furiously, chasing the cars in their tricycles.

"Damn these budget costs."

MEANWHILE…

Robin was just leaving the tower, heading towards his bike for a quick patrol of the city. That is, until Cyborg sped by, running over his motorcycle.

"HOLY SHIT AND PISS IN A BOWL!!! What am I gonna do now?" Robin yelled

"'Ey, Mate. No worries. Geico insurance covers coves accidents caused by robots, too!" said the little Geico Gecko.

"Yea! Fuck off State Wide!" the boy wonder cheered.

Suddenly, the T-Car went in reverse, crushing the Gecko and abducting Robin in one swoop.

Mad Mod ran onto the scene. "NOOOOOO! God Save the Queen, a fellow Englishman has crapped the bed. Go with fish and chips, sweet prince, go with fish and chips," he mourned as he cradled the body of the

The race was insane, but ended with Cyborg driving into a plot-hole. The teens climbed from the wreckage to find themselves in a place of mystery, evil, and famous roast beef…they were in Massachusetts.

Well, that's it for this chapter. I'll work the girls into the story somehow in the next chapter. I have no clue where this story is going but I think this was an ok start. I'm gonna go get some Reese's Puffs.

That was Speed Racer, for those of you who didn't realize it.

REVIEW!


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